- September 5Seniors inventing time machines instead of writing college essays
- June 3Congratulations to the WT Class of 2024!
- April 1Ms. Belfiore says, "WT isn't ready for the April Fool's Drop."
- March 14Critics Say Spirit Week Was a Flop
- March 4BREAKING NEWS: Your SAT Score Doesn't Determine Your Worth!!!!
- November 9Editors finally learn how to use website!
- April 3Article Accidentally Released in WT News Instead of Satire
- April 1Plaid Buys Majority Stake in The Voices of Winchester
- April 1Investment Club buys NFT, promptly loses everything
- April 1Seniors "giddy" at prospect of being judged by strangers for a spot at their college
