Fellow highschoolers, how many times must we as a student body jaywalk out of laziness, run through the rain, and struggle through the cold before the school recognizes the solution we need to fix all of our problems? We have to come together and tell Winchester that the best use of our funds would be an elevated path from building to building, that we as a school need a bridge.

The average WT student spends 75 seconds (1) going from the high school to Molloy-Posner Hall and 90 getting back. (2) That’s roughly seven and a half hours (3) we each spend crossing the street each year because WT doesn’t want to invest in infrastructure. (4) That’s over a day’s worth of school, not to mention the time spent by Mr. Hall or one of our other crossing guards. If we built a bridge spanning from the staircase near the student entrance to the place where you get into the main building, that would probably be less time. I would tell you what that number is, but I don’t know it because we couldn’t find the data because we. don’t. have. a. bridge. (5) Even if it takes just as much time, Winchester should construct the bridge anyway because we’re the kind of school that innovates. While those around us sit at home and do their homework and think about how to make the world a better place, we sit at home and write fiery, irresponsibly under-researched diatribes about the best way to throw money away because that’s the kind of community we are. (6) We take risks, and sometimes our ideas crumble in front of us like the supports on our hypothetical bridges because we didn’t want to broach the topic that actually matters, but sometimes, just sometimes, it pays off. So let’s build a bridge.

Comment in support if you agree with me and don’t if you don’t, but thank you for hearing me out. Read the footnotes before doing anything stupid.

1. This is a completely made up number
2. Equally fictional
3. At this point it’s probably fair to assume that every number you see, in addition to the actual text, isn’t worth consideration
4. They do a great job I don’t even know why I wrote that
5. And because even if  that data existed, I wouldn’t look
6. I don’t know why I dragged you guys into this, this is my problem, I’m sorry