So you’re a High Schooler who wants to go trick or treating. There’s no shame in that. But sometimes, we all need a little help doing things that are, let’s say, not exactly common. This is why I’ve created this guide to help you along the way during your trick-or-treating adventures.

Step #1: Make Sure to Buy Your Costume Online

Shopping in stores is so old-fashioned. Everything has transferred online. So what if you have to pay seven dollars for returns? You shouldn’t even be returning your Halloween costume in the first place. Shopping online is one of my favorite things to do because everything I buy always seems to fit. You can’t go wrong with online shopping clothing sizes. It’s just a fact.

Step #2: Steal Candy. From Anyone.

I can’t believe I even have to say this. It is a Halloween tradition, notion, fact, whatever you want to call it. Do not at any cost express pity towards anyone. Even a baby. Think about it like this: do babies really need more sugar, or do you? (Hint: the answer is you). If you steal candy from people, they will think that you are so cool. (Yes, even the babies will idolize you). Don’t worry about them getting mad because they won’t. High Schoolers are cool. It’s literally in the name. High Schoolers. 

Step #3: Eat All of Your Candy at Once

Life’s too short to just eat one king-sized candy bar. (Quoted by me). Eating all of your candy at once will make you feel full and satisfied. Now, your parents might say, “You’ll get a stomach ache and throw up!” But, believe me, they’re just tricking you into not eating all of your candy so they can steal some. That’s where the name “trick-or-treat” originated. The “trick” refers to this classic parenting prank, and the “treat” is you getting to eat all of your candy at once. I promise you that this will be the best. Dessert. Ever.

Step #4: Watch Horror Movies After Eating Your Candy

This one is pretty self-explanatory. After you indulge in all of your candy, be sure to watch some horror movies at 1 am! These movies will frighten you and will surely make you jump right out of your bed and scream until your throat hurts. Why should you do this after you eat your candy? Well, you’ll be very energetic, therefore allowing you to be more invested in the movie. To make the experience even better, I recommend turning all of your lights off and turning the volume up as high as you dare. If you really want to get risky, you could even pull an all-nighter. This will complete your Halloween experience. 

You’re welcome.