Have you ever wondered what a crowd of babbling Indian aunties sounds like? Just join the DSU. Yep, it’s (sadly) as simple as that. 

With the upcoming Diwali celebration, DSU is going to need all of your undivided attention. So, feel free to skip sports, club meetings, music lessons, and heck, even classes! Trust us, Mrs. Skiba wouldn’t care for the world! In fact, she is encouraging all students and faculty to do this. Now, you might be wondering, what the heck is the DSU? (Excuse my language). The DSU is a cumulation of Indian aunties all fighting over which Bollywood movie is the best. (That’s a recap of what happened at our last meeting… yes, we know we have issues.) And, what is this so-called Diwali celebration? To answer your question, here is what the celebration has to offer.

Food: Mmmm, don’t we all love spicy food? I know for a fact that all of my friends are completely obsessed with it, and always seem to ask for more spice. One time, my friend even choked on her food because she was just enjoying the spice so much! I know, it’s crazy, right?!

Entertainment: The DSU has totally rented a cinema just for this celebration… You will have to pay for your own popcorn, snacks, drinks, and seat. Other than that, everything else is completely free! 

Fireworks: You know what everyone loves – kids setting off explosives. If you want to see this first hand, come to the Diwali festival. Don’t worry if you think that fireworks are “too loud”. We’ve set off fireworks many times, and we still have ears. Well, some of us do… the freshmen do…

Awesome People: That’s right. If you come to the Diwali festival, you might even have a chance of seeing me. Doesn’t that make all of the effort worth it? Now, unfortunately, I will not be signing autographs, but I will be there, and that’s what counts. Don’t you also want to be an awesome person? (Note: Solvei is talking about Meera here – Meera was just too busy to write it because she actually has a life). 

Now, you may be wondering why you should come to this Diwali festival. Honestly, if you want to revive your now-dead social life, you should come. November 6th. Be there. Or else you will actually experience Indian aunties first hand forcing you to come. 

Yours Truly,

Come to The Festival or Else