Oh joy. It’s just that time again. Christmas carols are being played non-stop and Netflix decided to add every single Christmas movie possible in November. Before Thanksgiving even started. No, I’m not thankful for that or the non-stop Christmas carols being played every single minute. Because they are stuck in my head, I decided to give you my personal ratings of them. Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg… 

Jingle Bells

Rating: 6.5/10

This song is a classic, from its sound of bells being stuck in my head to its tune that is also still stuck in my head. Although played a lot, this song, created in the mid-nineteenth century, has been a classic for decades and still continues to be. Whenever I walk into a store, I hear the lovely noise of overly loud bells being played, and I immediately know the store is playing Jingle Bells. The brassiness of the bells adds to the overall merry festivity of the song, which plays in tune with the lyrics. 

Jingle Bell Rock

Rating: -100/100

Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock. Let’s face it. This song is a total knockoff of Jingle Bells. First off, the song is centered around the same topic, the infamous jingle bell. Secondly, where did the “rock” come from? I highly doubt The Rock listens to this song, and if he does, I highly doubt he likes it. This song also includes the lyric “To go glidin’ in a one-horse sleigh”, which copies the original Jingle Bells song. I am honestly not mad, just disappointed. 

Silent Night

Rating: 8.6/12

This song is slow, relaxing, yet a little gloomy. All nights are never silent, which gives this song a mysterious air. However, this has to be one of my favorite Christmas carols because the tune is not constantly stuck in my head, and it does not consist of fake, overjoyed singers. This song does sometimes makes me feel depressed though due to its dreary tone. This song is too depressing, yet all of the other ones are too merry. There’s just no in-between. 

The Twelve Days of Christmas

Rating: 12/300

Well well, these children are surely greedy. Who needs a song, another Christmas tree, two candy canes, three boughs of holly, four colored lights, a shining star, little silver bells, candles a-glowing, gold and silver tinsel, a guardian angel, some mistletoe, gifts for one and all, and good wishes? Whose friends have all of these items to give away? Certainly not me. There are numerous things that are incorrect with this song. First off, there are not twelve days of Christmas, there is only one Christmas Day; everyone knows that. Secondly, how can you give someone a guardian angel? Is that not physically impossible? This song is also very bland, monotone, and doesn’t fully capture the true expression of the joy of receiving gifts.

O Christmas Tree

Rating: 0/10

The main question I have for this song is, why are we complementing an inanimate object? The first lyric of the song is “O Christmas Tree, O Christmas tree, How lovely are your branches!” First off, I can admire a tree’s branches without singing or even talking about it. It is just something that doesn’t need to be outwardly mentioned. Secondly, this is even worse in song form. This is one of those songs where the tune will never leave your head and you have to force yourself to not memorize the lyrics. It’s sadly kind of hard not to when half of the lyrics are “O Christmas Tree, O Christmas tree” though…

Deck the Halls

Rating: -5/13

Holly is not the solution to everything. This is one of the most played Christmas songs to ever exist, both in real life and in my head. This song is quite interesting and has various things I can critique. First off, around 90% of the song is just the phrase “Fa la la la la, la la la la la la”. Where did they even get this atrociously obnoxious phrase from? Whenever I think of a phrase to describe Christmas, I only think of this fa la la la nonsense and nothing else. However, I did give it a high rating because it is truly a classic, and holly can look nice… ish.

We Wish you a Merry Christmas

Rating: -4.3/18

This song is very overplayed. What if I or someone else does not want a merry Christmas?

Let it Snow

Rating: 6/12

Now, I personally enjoy snow when it’s the right consistency – not too heavy but not too light. However, this song is also highly inconsiderate to those who do not enjoy snow and is therefore excluding those people. Also, I would not like snow in the summer, fall, or spring. This song does not take that into account, which again is very inconsiderate. In the song, there are descriptions of “the storm” and “frightful weather outside”. However, the song then includes lyrics surrounding love and warmth to juxtapose this cold, snowy weather. This inclusion of juxtaposition is very unique and gives the song some brownie points. 

Feliz Navidad

Rating: 1,000/10

Just for fun!