Self-love is a life goal most people strive to achieve. It’s an everlasting journey with continuous mountains to climb. As people, we are changing every day, and our experiences challenge and shape us into who we are. Sometimes, in a world filled with pressure, tension, and hatred, it’s hard to find love for ourselves. We are always comparing and overthinking. Self-love isn’t something that happens overnight. It is, however, a process that you can work through if you so choose. By practicing and honoring the process of loving yourself, you gain confidence, optimism, and overall peace. Here are my biggest tips for loving yourself!

• Think about everything you have accomplished

Our own accomplishments often go unnoticed. We’re usually so hyper-fixated on looking at others and all of their achievements. Comparing ourselves to others makes us feel like failures. When you take time to reflect on what YOU have accomplished in life, you begin to realize your own strengths and productivity. Even if these accomplishments are little things such as making your bed in the morning, it is important to give yourself credit. Without acting as though you are better than others, acknowledging the things you have done is a very important step to appreciating yourself. 

• Be kind to the world around you

Imagine that you are growing a beautiful flower. When you take time to add water to the soil and position it to soak up sunshine, it blooms! But when you neglect it and keep it in the dark, it begins to wither away. In life, when you put in the effort to spread kindness to those around you, you will gain their support in return. Remember, however, that you must always save water and sunshine for yourself as well. Also, if people who you are caring for do not show that same support back, rethink how much attention you want to give those individuals. By sharing, you allow yourself to grow healthy relationships with others and find deserving happiness in those connections while also learning how to balance “me-time.” Self-love is about connecting with the world around you as much as it’s about connecting with yourself.

• Allow yourself to have a break

Have you ever had a day where you are exhausted and need to rest? You close your eyes, but then immediately open them. Productivity is supposed to equal success, right? Taking breaks is for those who are lazy and never get work done, right? Wrong. If this is your mindset, this is most likely a reason why you are constantly tired. Taking breaks should not be a privilege. It should be a necessity that you carve out time for. Whether taking a break means napping, watching your favorite show, avoiding making plans, going on a walk, or taking a shower, you should never feel ashamed to do something that relaxes you. 

• Learn from your mistakes

Many of us strive to be perfect. Perfection is often how we measure ourselves. The great thing about life, however, is that we can only learn through making mistakes. When we avoid making mistakes, we prevent ourselves from stepping out of our comfort zones and gaining new knowledge that can, in turn, benefit us. Stop putting yourself in the mindset where mistakes are looked down upon and instead, reflect on the valuable lessons you can learn through your errors. 

• Stop worrying about what others think of you

Being worried about what others think of you is exhausting, right? Every outfit you wear, every food item you eat, every song you like, every word you speak is all based on what will please others. When you let go of caring about what others will think and focus on what matters most to you, you learn to be comfortable with yourself. Each time you’re about to converse with someone, don’t think: I wonder if they’ll like me. Instead, think: I wonder if I’ll like them. This simple switch completely changes the perspective you have of yourself and will help you naturally gain confidence.

Although it is easy to fall into the trap of talking about your plans and goals, it is difficult to actually implement them. If you’re aiming for true self-love remember that you must push yourself every single day. There will be times when you are sad, numb, or even confused. Loving yourself does not mean that you prevent these very real human emotions. Loving yourself means that you accept those challenges and work through them knowing at the bottom of your heart that you matter. Stop waiting. Stop talking. Start practicing self-love.