Aquarius: Mr. Svensson in his gladiator costume is their Roman Empire. 

Pisces: This Black Friday you won’t find a Pisces anywhere near a store. Why? Because they know that cyber Monday and shop small Saturday are where it’s at. 

Sagittarius: Their fingers cramped up after trying to play “ALL MY FELLAS” on the piano for 24 hours straight.

Cancer: Cancer’s are now entering a deep and dark sadness after watching the gutless removal of all drinks associated with fall from the Starbucks menu. 

Taurus: Watching Gilmore Girls for the 19th time, are we?

Virgo: They are just trying to get through the month now that all the cute fall photo dumps are posted.

Scorpio: They are unconditionally and irrevocably in love with the idea of fall break!!

Libra: At exactly 12:00 am on November 1st, they started their holiday wishlist slideshow. It has 55 slides. 

Gemini: Instead of watching tv this month Geminis are watching instagram notes. 

Leo: Currently under investigation by the FBI for an elaborate Temu scheme. That’s all we can say.

Aries: Homemade pies are in their future. 

Capricorn: Who needs a new water bottle when they have one from the Red Cross Club??