As many of you now know, thanks to a speech last Tuesday that, among other things, extolled the virtues of a certain very periodical insect (at least she didn’t talk about pancakes: only some of you will get that reference), I may or may not have danced at prom. But it was not, it must be said, because of the music.
I may be a seventy-five year old man at heart who still reads a crinkly paper edition of The New York Times every morning, who hates restaurants with QR code menus, who regularly includes the phrase “kids these days” in my patterns of speech, who goes on weekly Larry David-esque rants (that my dear friends are forced to endure) about everything wrong with the world (not enough vegetables), but the music at prom… left much to be desired.
For the sake of the future of humanity, I hope that many of you agree with me. And if you do, I am certain that the next thought to grace your consciousness is something along the lines of, “Well, why not Andrew Shlomchik? What if he DJ’d at prom?” And so, dear reader, I will now answer this most pressing of questions with a list of sixteen songs that I would play at prom were I the DJ. The bar may be low, but I suspect that my list would engender far greater enthusiasm among “kids these days” than… whatever that was three Saturdays ago.
This groovy banger by Portugal. The Man was a bit of a sleeper hit when it was released in 2017. One of the more popular and recent songs on this list, even winning a Grammy in 2018, you most likely are already familiar with this song. With an excellent baseline and a 3/4 time signature that both lend themselves well to those more inexperienced dancers (read: me), it’s truly a great song. “Feel it Still” is definitely one of those tunes that you don’t need to teach someone how to dance to: it is immediately obvious to anyone with ears exactly how they should move and respond to the music.
I’ve been on a bit of an America (the band) listening spree in the past month. Even if you don’t know this song by name, you’ve probably heard it before. “Ventura Highway” has a certain acoustic twang that is just so satisfying, not to mention excellent rhythm guitar that is perfect for a slightly frantic, yet natural mode of dance. There seems to be a trend in dance music that it must be highly produced and maximally stimulating: this song is quite the opposite and might even be characterized as relaxing. Yet, I kid you not, when I listen to this song, I cannot help but begin to dance a little bit as I walk. I hope that America sees a resurgence in the next decade: they are highly underrated in my opinion.
I love Laufey so, so, so much (she may or may not have been my most listened to artist last year). Laufey blends elements of jazz, bossa nova, classical, and pop vocalism from the 1950s (alla Ella Fitzgerald) in a way that highlights and elevates her amazing, ethereal singing voice (not that it needs much elevating). If you have heard this song before, it was likely on TikTok (or if you’re old like me, Instagram reels, which is where I discovered Laufey), but she is definitely not your conventional TikTok musician. There is a sense of careful patience, of measured minimalism, of refined elegance that characterizes all of her music… but it is all so groovy at the same time!
I can’t remember where I found this Jacqueline Taieb song (probably on Instagram reels… I spend way too much time on that godforsaken app), but I daresay I don’t need to do much convincing on this one. I have no idea what she’s saying in French (upon googling, some pretty mundane things), but in her English interludes, she quotes the Who: “Talkin’ ‘bout my, ge-ge-ge-generation,” to great effect. Throughout the song, there is a driving baseline and beat that are excellent to dance along to. There is a certain sense of youth rebellion in the song, of someone getting up at the mike and kinda just… rambling, but, you know, musically.
I don’t think this Soft Cell song needs much explanation. Pure synth. Pure pop. Nothing like my other recommendations, but literally the epitome of a party song.
Another party song, this time from Lesley Gore, lamenting the issues of being a teenager with a beautiful voice and a catchy tune. I don’t exactly know why I love this song so much, but every time I hear it, I find myself singing along.
I grew up listening to The Cars, but kinda forgot they existed until I rediscovered them two years ago. “My Best Friend’s Girl” is a much more traditional rock song with a driving bass and some purely awesome guitar solos. Another song that you simply can’t help but dance along to.
I am told that this song is particularly popular among conspiracy theorists. I wouldn’t know anything about that, and although this song doesn’t at first seem like a great dancing song, one can quite easily find themselves swinging and singing along to “California Dreamin’.” Besides, how many songs have such a fantastic flute solo? What’s not to like?
I would be doing a disservice to my middle school self if I didn’t include a Radiohead song. Look up a video of Thom Yorke dancing: that approximates how you are supposed to dance to “15 Step”, a truly frantic song. The rhythm on this song is something else (the kind of rhythm that makes you drum along on your knees as you listen), and when combined with Radiohead’s characteristic polyphony… it gives you a sort of dancing-high, transporting you to another headspace in a way that few other songs can.
There I was, watching some random WW2 German slasher (think something along the lines of Inglorious Basterds), and this rendition of the Rolling Stones’ “Paint it Black,” sung by the German singer Karel Gott, began to play. Gott’s vocals, the way they build into an almost operatic climax, are truly amazing, not to mention some quite awesome orchestral strings in the background that add a sense of goofy grandeur to the whole performance.
I really am my Dad’s child. I would be frankly quite surprised if many of my readers have heard of this Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young, but it is truly worth a listen (and maybe a dance?) The harmony of the multiple vocalists and a driving acoustic guitar rhythm, of course contrasted with an unusually quiet electric guitar in the background, is quite enthralling. Midway through the song, the beat turns around at with an organ solo (almost as good as Tadao…) and things intensify into just a beautiful song.
No, I’m not basic, this is not the only song I know by Cake… but it is their best song, quite literally about a racecar driver who never stops. I know I keep yapping about bass lines, but I think it is an essential aspect of any good dancing song, and “The Distance” brings bass for two. “The Distance” brings a kind of urgent intensity that makes you feel like there is nothing to do but dance. For a moment, you really are a racecar driver, round and round a track, “haunted by something [we] cannot define.” Just listen to it. You won’t regret it.
Every good dance party needs a ballade or two, just as every good dance party needs an appearance by The Beatles. “Michelle” fits the bill. Not only does it contain beautiful and sophisticated polyphony and harmony (much better than that of Mr. Sheeran, I might add), but it simply sounds so sweet to the ears as to compel one to dance (perhaps with a partner of your choice?) Another song, I admit, that I have danced to myself in my own bedroom. I like nearly every Beatles song, but this is one of their best.
I imagine someone listening to this song in the twilight of the dance party, bobbing their head up and down to this almost supernatural song from The Cure. I actually first discovered this song through the Adele version, and while both are good, The Cure’s version is much more intense, making it well suited for dancing (the vocals are rather haunting) and a repeated bass riff (yes, I know) really ties the whole song together. In a weird way, it is also the kind of song that you would dance in a ballade-style to, despite… well, you know, how un-ballade-like it is.
This Dire Straits track is admittedly another “old person” song, but also one of the grooviest songs out there. The guitar riffs are unparalleled, and from listening to this song on repeat as a little kid in my Dad’s car, I know all of them by heart. Even those who don’t normally like rock music cannot deny just how smooth this song is. I believe it is classified as a felony (although not thirty-three of them) to not play air guitar during the guitar solo in the middle of “Sultans of Swing.” Also, how cool of a name is that? Please listen to this song, I’m begging you: nobody ever knows this song when I mention it to them and it makes me sad.
If you’ve never seen the Edgar Wright movie Baby Driver, you’re missing out. I discovered this song by The Jon Spencer Blues Explosion when watching the opening car chase sequence to the aforementioned movie, and not to sound like a broken record, but this song is just awesome. It’s the kind of song that makes you want to drive faster on the freeway, imbuing the listener with a feeling of invincibility and pure cool-factor. You cannot listen to this song and not feel cool. You can barely listen to this song and not want to dance. The way that tension is built and released similarly satisfies the music theory side of my brain, as it will thrill the brain of anyone who listens. Truly a banger to end the night on.
