September

Aries: Unable to resist their cultish inclinations they have joined soccer. 

Gemini: After almost not making it through “August slipped away like a moment in time,” season, Gemini is taking an introspective break before “Do you remember the 21st night of September?” season sets in.

Capricorn: With the recent updates to MyWT, Capricorn doesn’t quite know how to go on with life. “I bet MyEllis still has the old assignment center.”

Cancer:  After living an obnoxiously brat summer they will lose most of their friends after not letting go of their Charli XCX ways. “Guys I’m soooo Julia.” 

Sagittarius: Unable to fight their old ways, they have been -allegedly- caught at the GetGo ten times this week. I mean who can’t resist slushies and rebellion?

Scorpio: Back to school means back to morning meeting. After a summer full of untroubled Wednesday mornings, Aries tried to build up their “announcement” listening endurance only to have been met with a morning meeting longer than the walk to the Davis center on the first Wednesday.

Pisces: With school back, Pisces needs a confirmed weekend hangout to make it through the week.

Taurus: As the falls have gotten warmer and pants on the first day of school have become out of the question, Taurus has decided to not believe in global warming and choose their own destiny instead. Just make sure to check on them when they pass out in Metal Smithing. 

Leo: After mourning the loss of their favorite senior, they are on the hunt for a new freshman bestie. 

Virgo: They have been trying to keep their camp relationship alive by sending Instagram reels every hour on the hour. There is only one problem: their lover is on a back-to-school insta cleanse.

Libra: Libra will become another victim of a buzz cut (or should I say forced early balding.)

Aquarius: After finding out they have classes with none of their friends, they have blocked Mr. Sadowski on Gmail out of spite. 

All: YOU WILL JOIN VOICES!!!!