Many of you have probably noticed that the boys soccer team often dresses up in button down shirts and ties on the days of their games. You may be wondering why this is. Don’t worry, it’s not a secret cult. But it might be worse. I’m here to confirm that the rumors are true. WT is investing its donation dollars in a new version of soccer. Suited Soccer. 

There are numerous questions surrounding this new sports team. People are growing concerned that this is the first sign of a return to a formal dress code. These theorists believe that by requiring the boys soccer team to wear suits, WT hopes to peer pressure other students into dressing up for the school day. Others believe that this is the start of a change in school branding. That’s right. There’s a chance our school colors could be changing from royal purple to khaki (I’ll give you a second to stop gagging). That’s right, khaki. Of all the colors, we could be in the process of choosing between, khaki is the most likely. I know it’s horrible (if our lovely upper school administrators are reading this, please don’t. I’m begging you).

But in all honesty, the biggest issue I have with this new concept for soccer is the look itself. Do none of these kids own an iron? Plus, where are the jackets? If they want to look like classy champions, the lack of jackets throws off the whole vibe! If you are already playing soccer in suits the mobility of the clothing can not possibly be a concern. 

So boys, if you’re going to play soccer in suits at least complete the vibe. And for heaven’s sake don’t punish the rest of us with uniforms and ugly school colors!