I will confess that I was not a little bit skeptical when I first heard about “Pizza Club.” I was under the impression that all WT clubs are just excuses to buy pizza with the school credit card (or bagels, in the case of Voices) — but I digress. Led by a certain Itai Tuti, supported by a cohort of carb-loving cadres, including Sami Alissa, Alexis Bansah, Maya Finke, Brigid Bemer, and Clara Gordon, on November 11, the Pizza Club produced thirty exemplary pies for thirty Upper School students. And the money from this pizza-drive? It went to hurricane relief, no less!

I’ll never forgive myself for being so naïve as to doubt Mr. Tuti, for unfortunately for me (but not for whatever lucky student received it in my place), I not sign up to receive a pie. And as I watched my good friend Yazan Alissa tear bite after bite from his steaming Pizza Margherita —  perfectly charred on the edges with the mozzarella melted just so — and having already finished my peanut-butter and jelly on two slices of Dave’s Killer Bread (Powerseed, of course), I began to reconsider my life choices. 

Not even my Trader Joes Opal® apple could overcome my deep feelings of despondency. 

Fresh pizza can have that effect on a man.

Yes, dear reader, Mr. Tuti in fact brought two gas-power pizza ovens to the terrace and baked each disk of aromatic heaven fresh to order. For Mr. Tuti, apparently, is in the employ of a local Italian joint, Mercurios, known for their Neapolitan-style pizzas and gelato (the pistachio is my favorite). As I watched Mr. Tuti masterfully turn the pies in the oven, ensuring even browning without more than the optimum dose of charring, I considered my own job as a baker at Five Points in Point Breeze. I quickly realized that sourdough will never be as sexy as pizza.

The teamwork exhibited by Pizza Club was remarkable. In the college counseling room, Sami and Maya stretched portions of pizza dough into disks, which were conveyed out to the terrace to be topped with tomato sauce, fresh mozzarella and basil leaves on one of the picnic tables. Mr. Tuti made some final adjustments, before the pies were introduced to the kiss of propane in one of the two pizza ovens, each at around 800 °F. High temperatures are necessary to quickly cook the pizzas, developing a blistered crust without overcooking the cheese and while maintaining a soft interior structure. Finally, each pizza was packaged in a bone-fide pizza box to be delivered to the lucky customer (myself not included, need I remind you).

It seems that this ability to work well together in groups, so elusive to even the best of teachers, has been organically produced through the unifying force of pizza. How many other problems of this world could pizza solve? Surely pizza would be a much more effective fundraising tool than bake sales!

The bar wasn’t very high for Pizza Club; as Yazan pointed out to me, the school’s pizza isn’t exactly gourmet. And Mr. Miller, our dean of students, just hoped that nothing would catch fire on the terrace. But Itai and the pizza club far and away exceeded all expectations. My sincerest commendations. You have surpassed even the most esteemed Voices club in your achievement. One might even say that WT finally has a club that produces something worth consuming. Oh, and rocketry club. You guys are cool.

I await your next event. Take my money. Take my money!