As course request season came and went, I began to see holes in the WT curriculum guide. I mean, with classes like “10th Grade Health Seminar” and “Geometry,” I am not exactly jumping for joy. The following is my official proposal for new classes WT must have next year:

Soccer: Mind, Body, and Spirit — Dr. Andy

Feeling a little bit of a January slump? We all know it’s because soccer season was two whole months ago. This second semester-only class brings back all the joy and worship that post-soccer season leaves many of us craving. Taught by the school’s very own Dr. Andy the class includes a capstone project in which you must run a 5k by going endline to endline on the WT field and then spell legendary backwards.

Pre-requisites: A recommendation letter from Mr. Brownold or God

Freshmen 101: How to Be Useful, Not Youthful — Dr. Horton

Mandatory.

The Etymology, Impact, and Personal Growth Associated With the Word Juxtaposition — Mr. Krauss

13 letters, Five syllables, one word. Defined as “the fact of two things being seen or placed close together with contrasting effect,” juxtaposition is more than just a word. No one knows this more than Mr. Krauss and with his in-depth use and reference, he will take students into an exploration of the world through the lens of juxtaposition.

Let it Grow: An Exploration into Trees and their Political Influence — Dr. Gough

This course will discuss the cinematic masterpiece that is the Lorax. Led by Dr. Gough, an alleged member of the cast, you are guaranteed to “let it grow” not die this year. With field trips to places like Cook Forest and Thneedville, you can be sure that you will never consider cutting down a tree or even looking at a piece of paper again. 

Morning Meeting: its Alleged Importance — Mr. Miller

Have you ever wondered how the entity that is morning meeting was created? Was it just to torture students? Is there an actual utility? Has someone ever gained anything from attending? Well, then this class is for you! With a minimal course load (there is nothing of actual importance to discuss) and lots of announcements, you will be jumping for joy when Mr. Miller calls the final “Go bears!” at the end of each class.