Five Words to Make You Sound Smarter

Five Words to Make You Sound Smarter

Getting respect from those around you can be hard. You work to improve. You look out for others. You try your best. But sometimes, it feels like no one recognizes how capable you are. Fortunately, there’s a solution: when you feel like people don’t realize how intelligent you are, shame them into compliance with really big words.

Now, that might seem difficult and pathetic. Luckily, it isn’t difficult. The path from big to huge to enormous to gargantuan words is an easy transition. You probably know these already words yet haven’t begun to use them. Why? Because you’re afraid of their power? Don’t be afraid. It won’t hurt if you do it properly. You’re being a coward. I thought you wanted people to take you seriously. This is what it takes. THIS IS WHAT IT TAKES.

Here are five words to help you put down those whose opinions you care about.

Inadvertent: without intention; accidentally

Example: “I inadvertently signed up for all forty-six clubs, and yours didn’t survive the first round of cuts. Regardless, I look forward to spending five minutes flipping through your purple book at the end of the year.”

Ambiguous: open to more than one interpretation; having a double meaning

Example: “I thought the passage was quite ambiguous. I certainly don’t see why Mohn-Slate took points off for it. Maybe Gatsby really was allergic to saving money. It’s a fictional book. It could happen. Oh, sorry, I didn’t realize you were an authoritative source on the matter. I mean really.”

Incommensurate: out of keeping or proportion with

Example: “I feel like the combined lunch-break period is incommensurate for the amount of time I need to relax between classes. It’s like I blink and the one-hundred minute block which most students get between their second and third classes is over. I find it hard to believe they couldn’t find time in the schedule to lengthen it a little bit. I blame Fauci.”

Incontrovertible: not able to be denied or disputed

Example: “The proof is incontrovertible. I’d challenge anyone to argue against it. There’s no question. The fact of the matter is, there are too many rooms in the high school and not enough kids to fill them. I’m surprised students haven’t been assigned their own, personal rooms to just be. We definitely have the space.”

Indispensable: absolutely necessary

Example: “The chess club is indispensable to my mental health. You think I’m joking? I’m not joking. Watching two high schoolers play chess is ineffably beautiful. Why are you still pretending I’m not serious? Knock it off right now. It’s the best. I’m being dead serious right now. I’m not—no. No. You’re being very close-minded about this whole thing. What do you mean you need to eat lunch? They gave us an hour and forty minutes to eat lunch. Come to Chess Club. I’m serious. I’m being dead serious. You still think this is a joke for some reason. I’m not—no. I already said so. It’s a good time. It’s a nice, quiet room of people trying to out-strategize each other; what’s not to like about it? I don’t know if we can be friends if you don’t come to the chess club meeting. You’re just being kind of annoying about not coming to the chess club meeting. Dude. Just—ok. Whatever. I’ll see you around. No, I’ll be relaxed, and you’ll be stressed. You just have yourself to blame. Ok. Sure. Yeah. See you later. Have fun eating.”

And voila. Five words to intimidate and confuse the classmates whose affability you’d like to exploit.

You’re welcome.