Every Valentine’s Day, I seem to find myself scrolling through my phone. I go through the endless amounts of Valentine’s day hauls, filled with baskets of candy and homemade cards. I open my “Stories” tab on Instagram to find more of the same- pictures of couples and repeated sweet nothings as the captions. I throw my phone across my bed, almost in defeat. What significance does my puny life have if I can’t post my non-existent significant other on one day of the year? Why am I so unworthy of that opportunity?

This, of course, is an over exaggeration of my thought process for the past few years. But, this question stays in the back of my mind; Why do I crave the right to say I’m in a relationship? Is it the title? Is it the experience? I mean, it’s definitely not the ability to have hug sessions in the middle of the hallway, or sit on each other’s laps in class. So, what is it? 

We as humans are incredibly social creatures. We form life long bonds and connections through language and experience. We yearn to be understood- which is why we actively look for fellowship. But, the perception that these romantic relationships in our youth are the end all be all of life is, in my opinion, false. These relationships are usually a build-up to our futures in life, and an experience that helps us learn and grow. But it’s not a necessity to have these romantic partners. You’ll still learn about yourself and the world surrounding you, just in a different way.

Then, even after knowing all this, why do I still like someone who hasn’t even discovered basic empathy? Maybe it’s because I’ve surrounded myself with so many images and photos of couples, that I eventually thought it was a right of passage. I can’t give you an exact answer to why so many people crave this specific connection, but I will say this; 

These relationships don’t define you, and they never will. They can shape you, change your outlook on life, but they never will be you. It’s so important we acknowledge that these relationships will never fully interpret your high school experience, nevertheless your entire life. No matter what your peers say or what they do, everyone is at a different pace.